0

Toddlers and Verbal Abuse

by Maxine
Posted August 27 2010 01:55pm
Filed under:

Verbal abuse is defined as repeatedly insulting a child or calling a child names. Telling him that he is stupid, fat, lazy, useless etc, can be just as harmful as hitting him. These actions can result in him feeling as though he is no good. 

Children in these situations come to believe that they are worthless or stupid and they may feel that it’s hopeless to try to be anything different. A child needs to feel loved, wanted and safe in order to feel worthwhile.

Any type of abuse can lead to a whole range of behavioural, emotional and physical problems. 

If you or your partner are using verbal abuse with each other or with your child it may be difficult for her to thrive. You should speak to your doctor or a counselor in your area.

In Canada, anyone who believes a child is being abused is required to report it to the police or child protection authorities.

 

0 comment(s)
Login or register to post comments
0

Help! My toddler is refusing to sleep!

by Maxine
Posted December 17 2010 11:44am
Filed under:

There are many things that can cause your child to stay awake at bedtime or to wake in the night and stay awake. Some examples are teething, illness, digestive problems, allergies, a move to a new home, or change in child care provider and even anxiety. You may not know it, but your child could be feeling genuinely anxious about being separated from you at bedtime.

The best way to make sure that both you and your child are getting the rest you need is to establish a regular bedtime routine. It should be at the same time every night, with no rough or active play just before bed. A nice bath and bedtime story is a great way to calm your child before going to sleep.

Be gentle but firm about your child staying in bed after being put down. Encourage your child to learn to stay calm by singing and talking quietly to herself, or cuddling with a pillow or stuffed animal. Leave the room with your child awake, so he can learn how to fall asleep on his own. It's also important that while your toddler is falling asleep, she is not distracted by excessive noise in the home, such as loud television programs, or the sound of older brothers and sisters playing.

It's normal for your child to call out to you in the night, but you don't have to go running right away. Try calling back to him first, just to let him know you've heard the cries and are near by. If your child continues to fuss, go into the room and use your voice and presence to calm him. Instead of picking him up, pat or massage him gently.

And remember, almost every child goes through several phases of testing you to see how late they can stay up. Stay gently firm and consistent. Getting angry doesn't help ease your child into sleep.

 

How did you deal with a toddler who refused to sleep? Offer your tips to other parents by leaving a comment below or ask an expert your question on this topic.

 

0 comment(s)
Login or register to post comments
0

When Toddlers Whine

by Maxine
Posted December 17 2010 06:11pm
Filed under:

You know what it’s like when your little one starts in with that whiny tone. It can drive even the calmest parent crazy!

When toddlers begin to whine, the most important thing to do is not to give in. If you do, it will teach your child that whining is a good way to get what he wants, and he will do it again, and again. Instead, let him know that you expect him to speak to you without whining.

Acknowledge your child’s efforts when she speaks without whining.  If she keeps whining, stay calm and ignore it until she speaks properly. If you think she is really overwhelmed by a situation, though, she may need a hug or a back rub to break the cycle.

Here are some suggestions from our experts to prevent whining:

  • Watch for situations where your child may get bored, and prepare for them. For example, have a bag of toys for your child to play with while you're on the phone.
  • Teach your child the difference between whining and asking properly.
  • Try to pay attention to your child when she talks to you in a normal voice. If you ignore her when she is asking for something nicely, she may start to feel that the only way to get your attention is to whine.

 

What do you do when your toddler whines? How do you handle the situation? Share your story with other parents by leaving a comment below!

 

0 comment(s)
Login or register to post comments
0

Temper Tantrums – Why they happen and what you can do

by Maxine
Posted September 5 2011 04:55pm
Filed under:

Meltdowns happen, especially during the toddler years. Whether it’s an enticing cupcake at the grocery store that she just has to have, a shiny toy or a desire to stay at the playground when you’ve said it’s time to go – small children can turn a simple ‘no’ into a full-blown tantrum in record time. It can be embarrassing and frustrating for parents – who doesn’t want to lose their cool when they have a screaming two-year-old throwing herself on the ground in front of all the parents at the playground? But there are things you can do to help you stay calm and, hopefully, defuse the situation. And, even if your child refuses to be soothed, remember that all those other parents have been there too!

Our experts get a lot of questions about tantrums – it’s a common problem that parents have to cope with. The first thing to understand is what causes the temper tantrums. The experts say that there are three main reasons:

  1. They’re unable to cope with their feelings. These feelings can be anything from hunger, sickness, confusion, helplessness, frustration, anger or even terror. Being physically upset is the main way for a toddler with a limited vocabulary to express feelings. For example, if you refuse to give in to your child and this makes him feel angry, your child may not be able to cope with his angry feelings. He may express his feelings by having a temper tantrum.  
  2. They’ve learned—from past experience—that temper tantrums are rewarded. If your child gets what he wants once as a result of a tantrum, he is more likely to have temper tantrums to force you to his will.
  3. They want attention. This can stem from feelings of being left out, ignored or lonely.

So now you know why your child is hurling herself onto the grass by the slide, but what can you do to make her stop? 

“Be patient,” suggests Karon Foster, a Registered Nurse and Parenting. “When you stay calm and don’t lose your temper you set a good example in the way you handle the tantrum. If you get angry it will just make things worse.”

And Foster suggests that you don’t worry about what other people around you are thinking. Remember that other parents understand and sympathize and that for every person that is critical there are many who have been there themselves. There are no perfect parents, so just deal with the problem at hand and try not to worry about what others are thinking.

Experts suggest that, as hard as it might be at the time, you shouldn’t give into your child during a tantrum. That can be easier said than done when your child is kicking and screaming in public, but when you give in you just reinforce the idea that tantrums are an effective way to get what she wants. Giving in ups the chances that you’ll be dealing with a lot more tantrums.

Try to soothe your child when she’s having a tantrum. Sometimes it doesn’t work, because she’s too worked up, but it helps to try. Take her to a calm, safe place and let her cry it out. Stay close.

When she’s ready, hold her and offer reassuring comments. Help her talk about what happened, how she felt and why she was angry. It may seem difficult, but discussing the situation can help your child understand and give her the words to deal with her feelings in the future.

If you find that tantrums are happening more and more, or that your child is really having trouble settling down, discuss this with your child's physician.

Did your child have tantrums? Does he still? How do you cope? Share your story with other parents just like you by leaving a comment below!

0 comment(s)
Login or register to post comments
Visit Kidobi.com Today!
view counter

MOST POPULAR STORIES

You can use a variety of Comfort, Play & Teach strategies that are tailored to different temperament traits.
Read More »
What comes to mind when you hear the phrase Positive Parenting? Positive Parenting is the approach to parenting that we believe best supports all aspects of healthy child development.
Read More »
Although your mirror cannot reflect words and ideas, there are mirror-like skills you can use to accomplish the same task—Reflective Parenting.
Read More »

parents2parents
syndicated content powered by FeedBurner

 

FeedBurner makes it easy to receive content updates in My Yahoo!, Newsgator, Bloglines, and other news readers.
Learn more about syndication and Feedburner »

http://feeds.feedburner.com/parents2parents