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Mom and Dad Differences in Parenting

by Maxine
Posted August 20 2010 07:13pm
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He likes football; she likes dancing.
He sees the colour green; she sees chartreuse.
He goes to bed early; she stays up late.

Let’s face it! Men and women are different. And generally, moms and dads approach parenting differently—not better or worse, just differently. If these differences are used sensibly, they can be good for children.

Remember, you’re part of a parenting team. Just like any strong team, you need to understand each other’s differences.  Researchers have noted some very interesting differences between the way moms and dads tend to parent. If you’re aware of the different parenting tendencies between males and females, it may help you explain your partner’s parenting a bit more.  You can use your differences to your child’s advantage and to yours.

The experts at Invest in Kids have put together a short quiz to test you on the typical differences in parenting. You may, of course, find that in your particular family some or all of the gender roles are reversed.  No problem!  Children grow up just fine, as long as they experience positive parenting overall.

Download the Mom and Dad’s Parenting Tendencies Quiz (PDF).

 
Are these differences ones that you’ve experienced in your relationship with your partner? Do your parenting styles mesh well together? Leave a comment below and share your experience with parents just like you!
 

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Temperament Trait Strategies: Sensitivity

by Maxine
Posted July 30 2010 04:56pm
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Sensitivity : On The Temperament Wheel, is your child high or low? 

Low Sensitivity – this child is blissfully unaware of things that bother others.  These children don't easily pick up on interpersonal signals. They misread others obvious cues.

Comfort

  • Provide a secure place for your child to go to when she misreads others obvious cues.  This will help her feel safe enough to start to learn what went wrong.

Play

  • Use imaginary play to encourage your baby to label feelings and become more familiar with how others express emotions. (For example, tell him, "This is how a mad cat meows…and this is how a sleepy cat meows.")

Teach

  • Teach your child to recognize other people's feelings. For example, "Daddy is tired."
    Provide emotion coaching in empathy. For example, "Mommy hurts. Give her a kiss."  This helps your child become more sensitive to other people, and how to show her own emotions appropriately.

 

High Sensitivity these children react strongly to even mild lights, sounds, textures, tastes and pain.  They are super sensitive to even mild stimuli, and are profoundly distressed by thunderstorms or wet diapers.

Comfort

  • if you see emotional or threatening situations that may overwhelm your child, help to prepare him in advance. For example, if a thunderstorm is coming, stay close to your baby and talk about it calmly and soothingly. This will help him learn to stay calm when a scary situation arises.  It is also helpful if you can provide your child with a variety of relationships that are soothing and nurturing. This helps him find the world to be a safe place from which to explore.

Play

  • encourage your child to express her feelings—particularly when she's playing. (For example, tell him, "This is how a mad cat meows... This is how a sleepy cat meows.")  This helps her become more comfortable with and less threatened by other people's feelings.

Teach

  • Set limits very gently.  Highly sensitive children often just need "that look" to stop them in their tracks.   Being too stern can upset them way beyond what is needed to teach them.  By doing this your child will want to please you and learn from you.

 

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Parenting as a Team

by Maxine
Posted May 10 2011 02:46pm
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Before your baby was born, each of you had special dreams and visions, along with worries and fears. Now that your baby is here, it’s time to revisit your earlier thoughts and see where things stand now. The reality for most parents is that these dreams often change as your baby grows and as you move through the transitions of early parenthood.  

Download the Parenting as a Team Worksheet (PDF).

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Joint Parenting Team Plan for Baby

by Maxine
Posted May 12 2011 11:23am
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Review the following common baby care tasks – tasks that parents need to take care of. Share your thoughts with each other and develop a plan for how you will manage each. If you are not sure yet, don’t worry, review this after a week at home with your new baby and again after the first month. You will probably make some changes based on your actual experience. Use this worksheet not only to plan for baby, but also to identify what might become points of disagreement for the two of you.

Download the Joint Plan Team Plan for Baby Woksheet (PDF).

 

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