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Temperament Trait Strategies: Distractability

by Maxine
Posted July 30 2010 04:34pm
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Distractibility : On The Temperament Wheel, is your child high or low? 

Low Distractibility – this child doesn’t notice much.  These children don't easily stop what they're doing—no matter how enticing the distraction might be!

Comfort

  • Give your child comfort when you interrupt his concentration. For example, say, "I know that you love playing with your new truck, but we have to go to story time at the library now." This helps your child feel that you value him—even if he doesn't like being interrupted.

Play

  • Give your child many different types of activities, such as blocks, clay, jumper swing and pull toy. This encourages her to break her concentration and move on to new things. This helps her learn to transition more easily from one activity to another—even though she concentrates greatly on each one.

Teach

  • Help your baby maintain a balance in his activities—from heavy concentration to a variety of stimulating activities. This helps your child become more well-rounded.

 

High Distractibility – these children are easily sidetracked from one thing to another.  In extreme cases they have Attention Deficit Disorder.

Comfort

  • Acknowledge your child when he completes one task before moving on to the next. This helps him feel proud of his accomplishment.

Play

  • Reduce the distractions among your child's playthings. These children are easily overwhelmed by clutter and volume of toys. This will help your child be more likely to play and learn successfully with one or two things.

Teach

  • Give lots of guidance and support to help your child maintain her attention on the task at hand.  This helps your child learn that paying attention is valued by others.

 

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Parenting Styles

by Maxine
Posted August 19 2010 03:59pm
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What's your style of parenting?  Barbara Coloroso, a creative parenting expert, came up with clear labels for the 3 basic styles of parenting.

 

Brickwall

Authoritarian

 

Also referred to as authoritarian,This style of parenting is inflexible, controlling and relies on discipline with punishments.

Jellyfish

Permissive

 

This is the permissive of parenting. It's supremely flexible and sets very few limits.

 

Backbone

Authoritative

 

This style mixes flexibility with clear limits. This style of parenting allows children to form a moral sense of right and wrong. It allows them to think for themselves and to take responsibility for their actions. It also gives them options for solving problems. For many middle-class North American families, the backbone style of parenting is generally linked with children who do well in school and are able to resist peer pressure.

 

Positive Parenting and Parenting Style

Positive Parenting is based on the Backbone style of parenting. The Positive Parenting approach requires consistency rather than rigidity. Your child's temperament, as well as your own, will make the Positive Parenting approach unique for your family.

With each unique family, Positive Parenting will look and feel very different. It isn’t a cookie cutter approach to parenting.  Let's look at the Positive Parenting approach with children who have different temperaments.

The Passive Child:

If you have a fairly undemanding or passive child, you may not need to set very many limits. On the other hand, this child may need you to pay attention—even if he does not seem to need it. You will need to provide a much more stimulating environment to help him realize his potential.

The Active Child:
With an active child, you may find you need to provide a lot of limits and many more physical activities to take advantage of your child’s nature.

The Sensitive Child:
If you have a sensitive child, you may need to set your limits with quiet controls. An example of this is putting your finger to your lips when you want your child to settle down. Remember to keep your own emotions at a low level. Sensitive children often stop listening and are easily wounded when harsh tones or loud voices are used.

Here is some more information about using parenting styles
 

What parenting style do you typically use? Do you and your partner use the same parenting style? Share your comments by leaving a comment below! 

 

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Temperament Trait Strategies: Intensity

by Maxine
Posted July 30 2010 04:39pm
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Intensity: On The Temperament Wheel, is your child high or low? 

Low Intensity – this child is mellow and calm.

Comfort

  • Provide lots of bonding time. These children need it, even though they don't demand it.  This helps your child become more attached to you and want to please you.

Play

  • Provide plenty of opportunities to read about big emotions from stories. For example, "The Billy Goat Gruff ROARED, "Who’s that trip-trapping over my bridge??"  This helps your child learn to delight in high intensity emotions, too.

Teach

  • Teach your baby to snuggle, kiss and hug friends and family. Not all babies do this naturally.  Have people express their love back to him, which will please him and others around him.

 

High Intensity – these children are the big responders.  They squeal delightedly with happiness and shriek with despair.

Comfort

  • Stay calm in the face of your child's out of control emotions. This helps your child feel safe enough to start to calm down herself.

Play

  • Act out and read stories that resolve big emotions with calm endings. For example, "Goldilocks was afraid of the wolf! But the hunter was calm and strong."  This helps your child learn that intense emotions can be resolved with calm emotions.

Teach

  • Show patience when your baby's emotions are running high. This will help her calm down.  This will help her learn from her most influential role model that returning to calm helps her cope with situations.

 

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Your Parents' Parenting Worksheet

by Maxine
Posted August 19 2010 04:14pm
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In thinking about how you want to parent your child, it is helpful to review how your parents parented you. Each parent would have treated you differently. This worksheet helps you reflect on how you were parented as a child.

Try to have each parent of your child complete this worksheet. Sharing your ratings with one another is a good way to start talking about the kind of parenting each of you wants to provide for your child.
 

Download the Your Parents' Parenting Worksheet (PDF)


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