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Handling Sibling Rivalry

by Maxine
Posted December 16 2010 08:54pm
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Sibling rivalry can develop for many reasons. In some cases it's due to the personalities of the children, but other times children may feel jealous. For example, if one sibling is really good at playing sports or is really good at school, but the other one struggles with these things.

Some sibling rivalry is to be expected.  If you had two best friends living together in the same house they would have some conflict and arguments from time to time.

The goal then is not to try to prevent sibling rivalry, but helping your children deal with any issues that arise between them in a constructive way.

If the rivalry takes the form of physical fighting between the children, it is very important for children to know that there is a "no hurting" rule, as opposed to just saying, "no pinching" or "no grabbing." Let them know right away that you won't tolerate that behaviour by saying, "we don't hurt anyone in this family."

If the children are arguing constantly, letting them work things out on their own is good in many cases. But be ready to step in when these little arguments start turning into long-standing issues. New research shows that children can suffer immensely if verbal taunts and threats by brothers and sisters go on and on.

To keep things peaceful, try to give each child one-on-one attention at least part of each day. This will make each child feel that she is still special to you.

Don’t compare your children. Sometimes parents fuel sibling rivalry by using one child as an example to the other. They ask, “Why can’t you listen like your brother?” or “Why can’t you have a clean room like your sister?”  This tends to create resentment rather than be helpful.  Let your children know that it is okay to be different.

When jealousy rears its ugly head, it's important not to blame one child or the other. Encourage the children to talk about their feelings of envy and jealousy. It's not going to be easy, but try to stay calm and listen to what they have to say in these situations. Try to emphasize the strengths of each individual child.

Share the consequences – When there is an issue that you are brought into, don’t take sides. Ask each child for their side of the story without any interruptions.  Ask the children what they think the solution is and, if it is reasonable, support their solution.  If they can’t come up with a solution you can proceed with a couple of options.

  1. Ask the children to work out a solution, and until they do, they are not allowed to do anything else.
  2. Come up with a solution yourself, but make sure that both of the children are involved.  Don’t give a consequence to just one child.  Remember it takes “two to tango.”  

Have you children apologize when they do something wrong. Saying I’m sorry is critical to the maintenance of loving relationships.  It says that “I care that I hurt you or upset you.”  At the end of any issue, have your child apologize to the other.  If both are involved in “causing” the issue they should both apologize.  If they are not ready, ask them to sit quietly until they are, even if it takes a while.  Finally, make sure the tone is right, an angry, “I’m sorry,” does not convey the right message.  

 

Is there jealousy or rivalry between your children? What have you done to manage the conflict between them? Share your experience with other parents by leaving a comment below!

 

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Helping your toddler stop bedwetting

by Maxine
Posted December 17 2010 03:20pm
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Here are several strategies from our experts that you can try to help your toddler stop wetting the bed:

Limit how much your child drinks after dinner especially any drinks with caffeine. Try and limit any fluids 2 hours before bedtime.

Use training pants and not diapers.  Diapers may interfere with your child’s motivation to get up and use the bathroom. 

Make access to the bathroom easy. Place a nightlight in the bathroom or leave the hall light lit.  

Encourage your child to empty his bladder a second time, just five minutes after the first time, right before bed.

Wake your child during the night to go to the toilet. However, some experts say that if she's not really awake, it's almost like encouraging her to pee while she's sleeping.  

And, place a portable toilet by your child's bed so that if he wakes up and has to go quickly, he can.

Use of rewards and punishments is no longer recommended as an effective way to manage bedwetting.

If the bedwetting continues despite all your efforts, consult your child's doctor for more specific strategies.

 

Did you use any of these strategies to help your toddler stop wetting the bed? Which ones worked for you? Leave a comment below and share your story with other parents.

 

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Comfort, Play & Teach: A Positive Approach to Parenting®

by Maxine
Posted July 31 2010 01:22pm

Comfort, Play & Teach is effective and easy to incorporate into your everyday routines. Be a positive parents with Comfort, Play & Teach.

 

Comfort, Play &  Teach: A Positive Approach to Parenting® is our research-informed parenting approach to support healthy child development. These three parenting actions work together to generate responses from children that transform everyday interactions from the ordinary to the extraordinary. Comfort, Play & Teach builds parenting confidence, strengthens the parent-child bond, enriches the moment for the child and parent, and, ultimately, opens a world of possibilities for you both.

 

 

Comfort Your Child

Comfort is the first thing that children need from a parent. When you comfort, with kisses for a “boo boo,” hugs when she is scared or reassuring words and a gentle touch to let her know you are close by, your child feels secure, loved and valued.

 

Play with your child

Play is the “work of children” and you are the most important person in your child’s world. When you join in your child’s play, helping to build a tall tower or pretending to be a king or queen, your child learns to explore and discover the world and his role in it.

 

Teach your child

Teaching is how parents help their children learn. When you teach your child by sharing and including him in your experiences, expanding on the knowledge he has or by being a role model, he learns how to think, solve problems and get along with others.

Why it Works

When you comfort, play with and teach your child, you learn to recognize and support the uniqueness of your child, motivate your child to be all that he can be and establish the foundation of a lifelong warm and respectful relationship with your child.

The approach:

  • Is simple, practical, relevant, easy to understand and to do, with no need for special equipment.
  • Builds on what your child can do.
  • Builds on what you can do as a parent.
  • Helps you understand your child’s current capabilities and the kinds of behaviours and skills
  • you should be watching for and supporting.
  • Gives you the opportunity and choices to support your child’s development based on his age and stage of development.
  • Stimulates a positive reaction from your child, which in turn provides strong, positive reinforcement for you.
  • Is for every parent.
  • Provides a common language for professionals and parents to talk about parenting.

Watch our videos to see Comfort, Play & Teach® in action.

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Diarrhea

by Maxine
Posted August 18 2010 11:50am
Filed under:

When your toddler has diarrhea it can be a messy moment for both of you! It can also be worrisome, as diarrhea is often coupled with dehydration or other illnesses.

When your child has diarrhea it can be a messy moment for both of you! It can also be worrisome, as diarrhea is often coupled with dehydration or other illnesses.

Diarrhea, which is also called gastroenteritis, is liquid stool that is passed frequently. Stomach cramps and vomiting sometimes accompany diarrhea. It’s usually caused by a virus or bacteria or sometimes by food that the body cannot easily digest. Like vomiting, diarrhea is the body’s way of getting rid of the virus or bacteria. Diarrhea is common in babies and children – they are the most likely of all ages to get it.

Mild stress can sometimes cause diarrhea, so you may see this as a reaction to changes in your toddlers routine. Always take extra diapers if you are traveling or going to a party, just in case. Be sure to have some hand sanitizer too, in case there is no soap or water available.

“The main goal for treatment of diarrhea is to avoid dehydration,” says Karon Foster, a Registered Nurse and Parenting Expert. “Diarrhea takes away water and other important matter from your child’s body, if they are not replaced by drinking and eating he will get dry and dehydrated.  Be sure your child gets lots of rest and liquids, as well as any solids recommended by your health care provider.”

 
Don’t give your child medication unless your doctor tells you to do so. And be sure to talk to your health care provider if any of the following things happen:

  • Your child has more than 6 large, water bowel movements in a day or the diarrhea lasts for 2 days or more.
  • There is blood in the diarrhea.

 
There are a few things you can do to try and prevent diarrhea from happening at all. These include:

  • Introducing new foods one at a time. Wait 1 week between each new food to allow it to interact with all of your baby’s systems.
  • Setting up and keeping a predictable routine – especially if your toddler’s digestive system seems to be sensitive to changes in his daily life.
  • Trying to limit contact with others’ illnesses.
  • Washing your hands for 15 seconds before feeding your child or handling food. This is especially important after using the bathroom, diapering, coughing and sneezing. Also, carry hand sanitizer for those times when water and soap aren’t available.
  • Properly handle and store food to prevent contamination from bacteria. This is especially important when preparing or giving your baby food.

 
 

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