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Your 18-Month-Old

by Maxine
Posted December 17 2010 06:39pm
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At around 18 months of age, children will begin showing more independence, such as insisting "I do it myself." It's important to understand that your child sees herself as the centre of the universe - not in a selfish way, but in a self-centered way. In other words, she believes everyone is experiencing what she is experiencing; what she knows, everyone knows. This happens because, at this age, seeing herself as a separate being can be a bit scary and confusing.

You also may notice that your child's moods swing rapidly - between being proud and bold, to whiny and scared, or even to being angry and throwing tantrums. This, too, is part of your child's struggle for independence.

It's around this time that children start experiencing the new emotions of pride and shame. Dealing with these emotions can be very tricky, so try to be careful not to make your child feel ashamed of his efforts to do something, even if the outcome isn't exactly what you expected. For example, feeding himself is usually pretty messy at this age. But acknowledge his efforts and soon the neatness will come.

Socially, children will enjoy playing near other children, but not necessarily with them. At this stage, your child isn't ready for you to teach her to take turns. That comes a little later. In the meantime, provide opportunities to have other children around, but be ready to gently intervene (many times) when her lack of sharing skills needs shaping.

Remember, each child is unique. Not all children develop at the same rate in each area, such as movement, communication and relating to others, so this information is meant only as a general guide. If you have concerns about your child's development, you should consult your child's doctor.

 

How did your 18-month-old behave? What do you remember about that age and stage? Leave a comment and share your experience with other parents just like you!

 

 

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Is it harmful to yell at your toddler?

by Maxine
Posted December 17 2010 03:32pm
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Some people might think that because they only yell at their child, and don't do anything physical, that it's really not that bad. But frequent, angry yelling can be as harmful as hitting your child because of the emotional hurt it causes.

If you do lose your temper and yell at your child, tell your child as soon as possible that you are sorry, and it wasn't right for you to behave the way you did. Also, explain that you will try very hard not to yell in the future. Most importantly, show your child that you will always love them.  This is also great modeling for your child, who will learn that yelling is not an acceptable way of dealing with problems.

Yelling is usually a sign that you have lost control and so it will be difficult to parent effectively.  When you are not in control, step back, take a few breaths or remove yourself until you are calm.  You might ask your partner to step in for you as well.

If you are yelling at your child regularly, consult your physician about possible medical reasons for your anger.

 

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The benefits of touch for your toddler

by Maxine
Posted December 22 2010 07:22pm
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Is there anything more comforting to a child than the gentle touch of a loving parent? It is said that touch can speak louder than words and that touch is our first language. How true! When a mother rubs the back of a crying toddler her touch is saying in no uncertain terms, "I care." This quiet yet clear communication between a parent and child is powerful, and its positive effects on children cannot be overstated.

So remember, when you comfort your young child, regardless of her age, touch can play an important role in how you communicate your affection and support.

It is also important for parents to be in tune with their children, and to read the cues and clues that children give about the type and amount of touch that suits them at a particular moment. Sometimes too much cuddling will make a child cranky; if this happens, it's time to back off. In fact, some children are naturally more reactive and sensitive to touch than others and at times may find too much touch over-stimulating. They'll let you know when they need a break - your job as a parent is to recognize and follow their lead. Often, a casual touch on the shoulder is enough to let children know that you love them.

So read your child's cues, and remember that touch can speak louder than words. When it's used sensitively, it sends a powerful message of love and security.

 

 

 

 

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The Causes of Bedwetting

by Maxine
Posted September 5 2011 06:10pm
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Many children are unable to sleep through the night without wetting the bed. For most children, bedwetting fades away as they get older, usually by 5-6 years of age.

Here are several reasons why your child might wet the bed:

Your child may not have the bladder control needed to stay dry through the night. In fact, one in seven children wets the bed regularly past the age of three.

Your child might be a sound sleeper and the urge to urinate doesn't wake her up.

Your child may be drinking too much before bedtime. This doesn't mean your child shouldn't have a drink before bed - just don't let her overdo it.

Your child may have a small bladder or he may just produce more urine at night. 

Your child may suffer from constipation. A bowel that has stool will press against the bladder. 

If your child is still wearing diapers, he may not feel motivated to stay dry through the night because he doesn't notice when he has wet himself.

Bedwetting can be a reaction to stress in your child's life. Things like a new brother or sister, a new daycare, experience or parents’ separation may trigger it or make it worse.

Your child may have inherited this from you.  Scientists have discovered a gene for bedwetting. If one parent wet the bed as a child, their child has a 25% risk of bedwetting. If both parents wet the bed as children, their child's risk increases to about 65%. (www.caringforkids.cps.ca)

And, in a few cases, there may be some physical problem causing your child to wet the bed, such as a urinary tract infection or physical abnormality.

If you have any reason to suspect your child may have some physical problem underlying night-time bedwetting, or if your child is embarrassed about wetting the bed, or if you think bedwetting is going on too long, consult your child's health care provider.

Whether you and your doctor decide to treat the bedwetting or simply wait for your child to outgrow it, be sure that your child knows bedwetting is not a bad behaviour. It is not his fault do not shame, punish or scold your child if he wets the bed. Provide comfort and support.

The Canadian Pediatric Society recommends that you talk to your doctor if your child: 

  • Wants to be dry at night and is concerned by the bedwetting. 
  • Is having daytime accidents. 
  • Is dry for many months and then suddenly starts bedwetting. 
  • Has other symptoms such as a frequent need to pee or a burning sensation when he pees. 
  • Is still wetting at 5 to 6 years of age (or older). 

Reference: Caring for Kids www.caringforkids.cps.ca, developed by the Canadian Paediatric Society.

Does your toddler wet the bed? Share your experiences and stories by commenting below!

 

 

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